where babies, etc., come from

i got my job back today. i was going to work at somewhere else, but then that didnt work, and i was unhappy, because i need to work, and because they told me that i could work there. and so for about 30 hours i was very irritated and mad because as much as i like to not work, i want to work too. i feel all accomplished when i do, and i like that. and i get paid. its not a bad deal. and i thought to myself that i just needed to sloowww down, and practice trusting God for just one or five minutes, because hes probably going to take care of me just like always, but i kept forgetting, and i was bad at it. but then He did, i think, and i have the job back that i left here waiting for me, and they fixed all, or at least some of the things i didnt like about it. but my favorite stock guy left cause so i wont have anyone to talk to sometimes, but my favorite manager and mother-y lady are still there, so im terribly happy about that.
also: let me just annouce that i can make good peanut butter and jelly sandwiches even if i cant make french toast. i tried to make french toast yesterday because i wanted it ever so much, but i think i failed. its on my list to practice. but it probably has to wait in line. when i came to college i lost a few of those cooking skills for who knows why. but i think they're coming back? heres hoping anyway.

i found my lucy ricardo shoes today when i was putting up shoes. i forgot i had them almost, but i think i love them muchly, i [re]decided that today. just because they are halirious. if my pants were slightly shorter, then i could probably even be just like her, cause my hair is red[ish]. except for im not that funny. im probably decently funny, when i write, once in a blue moon [hey, i think those things actually really exist, but ive never even seen one], but thats all. goodness, i do love i love lucy muchly. very halirious.
well, i probably couldnt be her at all, but i do like these shoes muchly, for unexplainable reasons.

i had lots more things to say, i feel rather sure, but i cant seem to remember them at present because i have been neglecting my notebooks as of late, because i dont even know why because ive been thinking all kinds of things that should be written down. so when i think of them again, ill write them down. tomorrow i will write at least 5 pages down in that thing, i decided, because i have neglected it soo muchly. although that will take a whole lot of discipline, because 5 pages can be a whole lot longer than it is initally, even though they arent even full pages. but it must be done, so that is that.
it is rather obnoxious to forget things, especially things you want to remember.

oh, i know. i found out that in biology our teacher [who was in the military and spent most of his time in guam and consequently told stories about that all the time] skipped a very important chapter in the textbook. consequently, the other day, when my roommate [who was trying to study so she decided to do it outloud cause i was probably talking, i dont remember, but its likely. i dont think she likes it when i talk to her a lot sometimes, well, actually just when she studies. but sometimes she does like it, and she even talks back. its really clever.] anyway, she was reading to me out of her developmental psych book and it was telling all about how when they are 3 weeks old babies have the beginnings of a brain and when they were 4 weeks old there was a heartbeat. and i was just totally in awe, because that doesnt even make any sense how that could be there, because it wasnt there before. and then i found out that they were cells. and that all they did was divide and then just like that there was a heart. and a nervous system and all kinds of normal people things. i mean, when i think of cells dividing, i think of bacteria. or cancer. yes. not babies. i dont know how i thought it happened before, and i dont know why i didnt know, really. no one ever explained to me the exact details about the cells, and i guess i didnt think about it, and mr. science teacher was too wrapped up in guam to explain such mysteries. but i was really just impressed about how clever God is. and how crazy it is that stuff like, oh i dont know, life works.
it reminded me this summer of when my moms friend got to explain to me all about how chicken eggs work. i had no idea, really. and poor thing, she did such a good, tactful job, and told me just enough to satisfy the curiousity but left enough to my imagination that if i went to look it up for real, i might learn one or two things more. it was also very funny. but i think my mother and i laughed more than she did; she probably didnt laugh very much. but she has chickens on her farm, so she knew all about it, and [i dont think?] she didnt mind explaining it to me, although i think my mother would have rathered me look it up or something, because it may not have been of general interest. oh well. there are times when things of general interest just doesnt need to happen, [although no prepositions at the end of sentences always needs to happen, gah. i think my grammar is slipping in my old age. and did i mention that i was half published for real the other day, and it was ever so exciting. and also, i was soo excited to be an english major when i was watching that movie down there and i loved it and i felt so literate and stuff cause i knew exactly what was going on because i have read--really read [for class, admittedly. im not that much of an english person]--the iliad and the odyssey and an i was all like oooh. i love that guy homer. he was an absolute[!] genuis. i do like smart men.] but anyway, sometimes general interest is useless and ungeneral interest happens. and then sometimes you end up talking about things and you arent really sure why and its weird and funny but good. just good. and thats all there is to that.

currently watching: o brother, where art thou?

Posted 1/10/2006 1:56 AM -