mmmmkay.

isnt it a nice feeling on the first afternoon of break? that i made it--i think[?] and then you do something lovely or really just anything that isnt what you are trying to escape from just to prove to yourself that you really did make it, and you remember that you did, and you are happy. now if i can just make it through the rest of everything, which i might not, i suppose. i would almost rather not, it would be rather tragically romantic, wouldnt it? but actually, its because then i have to do something after it, and heaven knows what that is. i suppose its kindof like on big fish, which i watched yesterday: it would be a little helpful to know how you die because then you would know that you could make it though everything else. but we dont have that luxury, so we just have to trust.
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here is a question about microwaves: if you want something to cook for 98 seconds, when you type that in, does it automatically make it into 1min38seconds? or does it understand 98 seconds? is this universal on all microwaves? i would try it on ours, but it seems to be in a rather perilous state, lately.

and also, if january is waffle time, march is granola bar time. the fudge-dipped chocolate chip kind. which totally defeats the point of the granola, but o well!
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i am packing right now for spring break. tomorrow at eight in the morning, my family and i will leave for florida. since it is fiveishoclock in the morning right now, i will probably not go to sleep, and then sleep for nine hours in the car tomorrow. it will be fun.
i decided that one of the reasons i am not a good packer is because i allow for entirely too many possibilities, and also, i overestimate. for example, right now im thinking things like "sure, i can read 12 books, and write a thesis this week, no problem." and "probably all of this unexpected stuff will happen, so i should pack something to wear for every occassion, plus the regular stuff" but probably nothing will happen, and i will wear jeans and tshirts the whole time, and i sure as heck wont get 12 books read, maybe just one and a half or 4. but what can i do but bring them anyway? just in case? maybe,maybe,maybe.
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speaking of books:
i cant decide if i should write in books or not. elisabeth elliot doesnt, and she carries some weight. she is why i currently dont, actually. but lots and lots of people, do. and lots and lots of people carry weight too. i like the idea of not marking up my books, so i get new things out of them every time i read them. but i also see the importance and necessity of writing everything down. so i dont know. i think my favored option at this moment in time is to write the notes on paper, and then stick them in the back of the book. best of both worlds, maybe?

if you write/publish just one book, but its really awful, does that make you an author?

and why is it that people insist on putting things like "the rhetoric and poetics of aristotle" or cicero or plato for their favorite books?! this could only mean 3 things: 1) they are so poorly read that they dont know anything better. and i know that those guys are terribly important in the world, and they probably changed the shape of world history and all of that, but really. there are some other really amazing things to read that dont cause you to fall asleep after the first 3 paragraphs. and why they picked those to read if they werent going to read anything else, i dont know. 2) so, if they have read everything else, and those really are their favorites: this means they are really boring.[!] or ought to be the president of MENSA or something. i dont know. probably both. and 3) they really dont like these books, and maybe they havent even made it through them yet, but they think people will think they are smart and cool if those are their "favorites." and thats just pathetic. and ridiculous. [note to self: write down thoughts about imperfection very soon. this is important.]
or maybe they really like them? its always a possibility, however vague, i guess. hrm.
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also, i want to know about ideas: are they person-specific? like if thomas jefferson didnt manage to invent the lightbulb for whatever reason, would someone else have done it eventually, because we were destined to have lightbulbs around? or would we just never have had them, and they would have altered the course of history, or whatnot.
and if adam and eve had never sinned, would someone else have instead?

i was thinking about ernest hemingway the other day, and hes very sexy of course, but how awful it would be to be the "lost generation." awful in the big romantic way, you know. they were totally encompassed by 2 huge wars, and a nearly international depression [i think?] and stuff, and then they set themselves in paris, where the town itself and the culture and history is nearly overpowering,especially back then. and then all of your accomplishments and friends and thoughts and possessions would just be gone. like all of ours will be, but they get the title. and ours is more individual. theirs was a whole generation, and therefore more tragic. [which im sure is a wrong mindset for me to have. if hitler only killed one jew, it would still be tragical. well, im not sure. hrm. 6 million-plus might be even more tragical. hard to say.] so perhaps thats why they wrote--to remember. there is a lot to remember. and a lot to know, and see and learn and appreciate and love.

and heres something else: i realize that everyone is special, and made in the image of God, and we have intrinsic worth and all of that. so: why, then, can some people turn albert einstein and mother teresa and others like them, and some people turn into hitler or child molestors or something? and how come the rest of us are just normal, average people? is it circumstances, or training, or just whats inside of you? and how come some people are interesting, and some people you want to be bestest friends with, and some people you just dont? why are some people boring? i mean, at least theoritically, everyone should be interesting, at least a little. so i dont know.
but it is nice to be reminded about why we need each other.

and isnt it wonderful how we take things from each other: an idea from a presentation, a joke from an aquaintence, a laugh from someone down the hall, a book, the music in the background, a conversation with a friend, a prayer at a meal, a hug. and we take these things, and just let them be a part of us and its ours--like little presents for us everyday--and then it just joins into us and becomes part of who we are and we are bigger and better or maybe even worse for it. its so cool.
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ive been listening to this:
moon river, wider than a mile, im crossing you in style
someday. o dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going, im going your way. two
drifters off to see the world.
theres such a lot of world to see.
we're after the same rainbows end, waitin' 'round the
bend. my huckleberry friend, moon river and me.

mmm. what more is there to say? [until tomorrow, or something]

Posted 3/20/2006 5:36 AM