treasure hunt

I saw a shooting star while we sat in the dark field,
and I wished for the field to be full of white clover flowers.

// word vomit time: [and im not even sure its logical] //

i think im in hibernation mode. as in: i feel like im storing up a whole bunch of information from my classes and taking a lot of notes, and talking to a lot of people that are inspiring, and reading things that are enlargening, and learning a whole bunch of 'life lessons' and things,
but i cant spit any of it back out. its like im saving it all for later, which is all well and good for later--but what about now?! i need some of it now.

i need so much--
but at the same time, i dont. i .am. julie laugherty, after all. ;)

[actually, what i need to remember is that i reallytruly only need about one thing. or maybe two things. and that anything besides those two things is not one of those two things. i have got to have priorities. and--i was wondering earlier how long i have to wait for the things i want to all show up in one place. but maybe im waiting for the wrong things to show up? eh, its possible, but not likely. and there has got to be a balance somewhere.]
and i want to have myself a pity party sometimes, but thats just ridiculous and i know better. but im not saying im not tempted.
also, ignoring things that happened wont make them go away. they still happened whether you choose to ignore them or not. and only remebering the bad wont do you any good at all. good happened too--it did--and ignoring it is just dumb.

other than that: i need to invest in a better umbrella. i swear mine leaks, which is less than pleasant. i think its going to be a rough 3 days [and im not planning on sleeping, actually] and i bought flipflops for two dollars which was terribly exciting. and i vaccuumed my room. and all i want to do is curl up with a book and thats all, even though finding a comfortable reading position which remains comfortable for a long time is always a challange. and i think im stuck in a rut. or two. must expand. [and i have got to begin taking breaths when i speak, or write.] and i used to own 3 boxes of business sized envelopes, and now i dont have any and there is no way on earth i used them all, so they are lost. ohno. the hot fudge was broken=i am heartbroken. ohno x 36. and i have supermuch to do. and we decided that music is the most profound of the arts; i heart music. and i also heart nerdy boys. and there was just a .huge. fight at the bar across the street. and my phone rang, and i picked it up, but then i forgot to say hello.
going on a treasure hunt. be back soon.

and while we sat, i tied the grass blades together
to make a delicate chain which reminds me
of sweat and heartbreak, mowing lawns and first loves.

Posted 4/11/2005 11:05 AM