[harbinger of woes]

i think i pretty much settled it in my mind this afternoon: i need a little black dress. i dont know how i have survived this long without it, but i think since i have survived thus far [even after my near death experience this morning--this morning i was running late, of course [i alwaysalways run late for church, which by the way, is always strange without my father there. i cant make it on time to church to save my life, whether he is there or not, unfortunately.] so anyway i was brushing my teeth while prepraing to run the straightener through my hair and the straightener was on the side of the sink and it fell into a sink of water. my first thought was of course, why that is an electrical device. it shouldnt sit in a sinkful of water. but to remedy that, i reached in and got it out, which only afterward did i manage to think that that was incredibly stupid [but what are you supposed to do instead?]. but i decided not to straighten my hair, and give the straightener a chance to rest, which it is now happily doing.], and have turned out so well or something [i might be exaggurating there], i think i ought to have a little black dress. so hum.
and i was thinking about it, and i feel sure that i would look better on a consistent basis if i could do things my way more often-- if i could go shopping right before the event and always find what im looking for. i think i get a sense right before something of how that somethings going to be, and how i ought to look for it. and if i have enough time and money to go shop before said event, i can usually end up looking smashing for that particular event. as it is, my favorite clothes are usually the ones i buy in any such circumstance, because i know what i want, and what will look good and stuff. but somehow i loose this sense if im just regularly shopping. i dont even know why that is, but its irritating. maybe its just further evidence that i procrastinate frequently and with a certain amount of skill. im not perfect at it, but im not the worst procrastinator ever, either.
and also, any other way, you just never have anything to wear when you want to go somewhere. regardless of whats in your closet or whats clean. none of its perfect, ususally. bother.
ive been thinking about clothes lately, obviously, and this may or may not be inspired by the eighties movies ive been watching. clothes are important, or at least noticeable, in eighties movies. in this last week i have watched: wedding singer, big, whats eating gilbert grape, my best friends wedding, and forget paris. [yay! but hm. that may be responsible for my lack of productivity. ive been the least necessary amout of productive this week. except for that doesnt make sense, cause ive seen about only half of all of them, so i still should have plenty of time, in theory. but its ok. thats what mondays are for--to fix all the unproductivity of the last week.] and before the next week is out, i intend to watch say anything, breakfast club, and sixteen candles. [yay!] and those may not all be strictly 80s, but 1) they all have the hair for it regardless and 2) they are old enough that i cant strictly remember their beginnings, just vague grownup mumblings about them, so they count anyway. i wonder if there are anymore very important 80s movies that im missing. i wouldnt know exactly, cause i was just born or 5 years old or something.
tonight, my sister brought me a chicken and a gallon of milk and then she said "here i brought you some presents. now im going out and i hope you have a nice night." well. alright. since that is pretty much all i need to have a nice night [???], i guess im set [???].
[i sortof think that that chicken deserves a name. berry or something, i guess. "congratulations, berry, you won an all expense paid nice night with a lovely lady who will probably eat you for dinner, with some lovely macandcheese and peas and milk or something. come on down. what do you have to say about that tonight, berry?" er. something.]
p.s. in the middle: i think my punctuation not to mention my parenthetical remarks are out of control. and i think im getting more longwinded in my writing. pooh.
and my life always get tangled up with the most unexpected people. at least, i dont expect them. maybe other people do. more on this laterish.
well, i dont suppose anything drastically tragic has happened yet [unless you count the paragraph immediately preceeding, which im not sure is tragic, just sortof foreboding or something], so, i dont suppose this ought to be titled harbinger of woes after all. but that was the one thing in church this morning that the pastor said that i really liked the sound of, just for the sound of it. there are several phrases like that. i forget what they are now, except for this: i never have been seriousserious about planning my wedding, like the girls in highschool who bought stacks and stacks of bridalzines or anything, [but yes, ive thought about it, like all girls will] but practically the only thing that i am for sure about my wedding is that [1) i want to have one eventually and] 2) that the phrase "What God has joined together, let no man tear asunder" shall be uttered. and "tear assunder" it shall be--none of the new translations of it. "tear asunder" is one of the most thrilling sounding phrases, especially when said by a nice deep pastoralish voice. tearasunder tearasunder tearasunder. yeah, ive always loved that one.
and also, the word of the day is gravitas--which means high seriousness [in regard to someones looks]. i didnt know that. i would have guessed something about "free." but thats the wrong thing--clothes arent free, of course, and unfortunately. thats where guessing gets you, i suppose. which is not, i suppose as bad as assuming things. but either way, its not learning. [today was all full of mathish problems that i learned [and learning is not guessing]:
alarm=too early hair=unstraight running=late red light=chance to put on mascara mercy=great grace=free pardon=multiplied pride=chief vice God=big me=small $5=enough for lunch for two happy=fathers day reading=nap chocolate=gone, but coming night=nice, with presents conversations=waiting giggling=yes. miss=things me=still unsettled music=good.
and all that=good enough for me for now.] but the problem with learning is whether or not it will stick in your head tomorrow. as my test scores etc.etc. will often prove [but we arent thinking about those now, for it is certainly summer vacation] it is often a puzzling and perplexing matter as to why you learn something one night and then it disappears the next. if only the right things would disappear overnight and not the other things [!] bother. and i wonder if thats a matter of life imitating art, or the other way around. [?]

Posted 6/19/2005 8:10 PM