// concerning men. //

[one of] my quarrels with men is this: they dont have the same taste. [and i know not all girls have the same tastes but 1) we mostly do and 2) when we dont, i dont have to worry about it.] i mean, by the time i get used to one, then theres another one and hes all different than the first. its so obnoxious. for example, if the boy likes vanilla instead of chocolate, i get that in my head but then you come across one that does like chocolate. and half the boys i talk to like basketball, and like two of them like baseball, but then some of them dont like any of them. sheesh. if they all liked one thing, it would be easier. another for example: if one man finds me attractive and is going to flirt or whatever, i want them all too. and it sounds arrogant, i know, but i dont mean it to be. all im saying is that this would make things infinately easier and probably less embarrassing.
like two nights ago, i went to go get dinner while i was at work. i walked down to the pretzel place and i got a pretzel. thy guy was sort of young so we were talking and stuff, but nothing fling-ish or anything, i didnt think [maybe he did, who even knows, but all i did was smile and was nice just like normal]. i got a pretzel and a small water and it was $1.99 altogether. i enjoyed it muchly. so then last night i went to go get another pretzel because it was enjoyable and i am a creature of habit, and i had brought two dollars because it remembered that it was $1.99. and then i get there and it was a different guy who was sortof old, but i get my pretzel and water and it was like $2.39. i was muchly confused and i only had two dollars so i was all flustered and stuff. the guy said that water cost money [since when?!] and they should have charged me last night. well, i only had two dollars and that was all, so i explained and he finally said it was ok, and gave me my pretzel and water for $1.99. but sheesh. it was awkward, and it could have been avoided.

and i have decided that sweet home alabama is practically the most fool-proof song for a boy to play to get the girl. i mean, it takes a pretty talented guy to screw up that song [isnt that song like the easiest cord progression ever or something? i think i heard that.] i hardly even like country-ish music [actually, i dont think i do at all] and i still melt when i hear a sexy version of that song. i dont even know why. further case in point: at work we have this deer head that hangs right above the cashregisters. and it has a microphone and when you talk into it it moves its mouth. and if thats not weird enough, it sings like 10 songs and says corny things. but one of the things is sweet home alabama and as much as its awful in principle, its still lovely. and i stop everytime it comes on and i smile, even though the stupidest, most annoying fake deer you will ever encounter in your whole entire life, ever, is singing it.

and you know, i love [most of] the men that come into my store. my store is all floral pictures and floral arrangements and candles and potpourri and pillows and other such things. im forever advising old women about what will look good in their living rooms and such even though i have no idea. i mean, i havent ever been inside their house or anything, but they go on asking my advice just the same. [i smile and nod a lot.] anyway, these poor old men are dragged in here by their wives and their wives are just falling apart over this stuff "oh honey isnt it the cutest, sweetest thing youve ever seen?!" etc. etc. and the poor men could care less, of course, and most times if you kind of smile at them, they'll gladly come talk to you instead. or they'll do that cute "shes-the-woman-and-i have-no-idea" look and thats so great. i mean, you sortof feel sorry for men anyway, with all they are often subject to [and yes, we feel sorry for us too, with all we are subject to.] but you feel especially sympathetic for those men who get dragged into home decorating stores. you always find those men stopping wherever there are buttons to be pushed. if it talks or moves or whatever, and theres a button for it--these men will probably find it. but this only reinforces my theory that buttons are practically the coolest things. i mean, when i was little, i was fascinated with buttoned things--calculators, decoder watches, typewriters, cash registers--i loved them all, and i think most people do. my second or third day of work, my little sisters pounced on me afterward and wanted to know all about the buttons that i get to push. and my favorite jobs [besides my bookstore, of course, for obvious reasons] of all were the ones where i get to push a lot of buttons. for example, resturant business isnt exactly my favorite, and its probably cause there are very few buttons involved. i get to push a lot of buttons when i sell flower arrangements and things, and it makes me very happy.

also--i was talking to a boy who mistakenly thought that men have only three reasons to live: they reach tall things, and tell the time, and carry heavy things. but! they have more than 3 purposes in life, rest assured. they can sing the low notes. think about how a whole choir would sound without the tenors and basses? pretty dumb, i think. and they also can pay. why else do you think that those women bother to bring their husband along to my store? its not because they think they will have an enjoyable time shopping with him, thats for sure. she thinks he doesnt know about this stuff [but she usually asks him anyway], and hes busy pushing buttons. but--he does have the money. so theres that. also, they know things about cars. and you can argue with them about things, and sometimes they're sweet, and they smell osogood [usually]. and also, boys are in charge of making decisions. i mean, if it were left up to the girls to pick the place to eat and what movie to rent, it might never get done. but boys can do it pretty quick. and that saves time. and time saved can be used for other, better things. like who even knows what, but theres probably something.

and somethings are very curious, i think. [it is also curious how i have run into or talked to nearly and practically every single significant, or even semi-significant, man in my life within the past week-ish. crazycrazyweird. so--ive had to be charming, and things, you know. and my other favorite boy [my boys come in pairs, you know] is getting married this week, so you know how that goes.] but anyway, when i think of how many somethings and someones there are in the world, and all the things that could happen to those somethings and stuff, i get curious and hopeful and depressed and sad and excited all at once. and then i spend the rest of the afternoon wondering, usually. which is what i did all afternoon; and i tried to settle me down, which may or may have not worked as well as it ought to have. it certainly didnt work as well as smoking cigars does for calming, and let it be known, once and for all, that i prefer peach, both when im sick and otherwise.

currently playing: as lovers go // dashboard confessional

Posted 6/11/2005 12:48 AM