3.

1. can i just say that i am physically incapable of not changing paper topics? no matter how much i
do to avoid it, i cant help it, i think. i mean: i went from discussing dickensian influences and
character development in cider house rules to how two distinct settings in cider house rules
should have influenced but did nothing to help moral relativism in the novel. see, its totally better
that i changed topics. and--2350 quality words with 5 sources in 3.5 hours, baby. o yeah.

2. "oftentimes when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something
else." [-mr. rogers.]

3. .everything. to God in prayer --trying sortofmuchly hard failing just as muchly

4. i am going to see starwars. shall i dress up? im not sure i could get away with carriefisher or
natalieportman, so maybe not.

5. "ARGHHH!!!
i wish i had the superpower to disappear.
but, alas, i cannot! i am but a mere mortal! and what then when a person is thrown around by life's cruel intentions? will we not drown in the depths of such madness? wail about in the clear, sticky web, spun by some egomaniacal force? are we not all hidden in this veil of mortal ignorance? we are all different--so are we not all the same? are we but dreamers in a container of liquid nitrogen--freezing in a binary machine of infinirt inferiority?! this dream is never-ending! this conversation never happened! all that exists is the english* exam! my life is nothing after the bubbles are darkened!
the caveat is the textbook--her eyes stab into the gray brain of illogical conclusions. and who then will solve life's mysteries--the reports floating in cyberspace, the news-bits in the ten-second media blitz that derives forbidden pleasure from economic meltdowns and the unforeseen destruction of foreign economic policy??are we not men and women who deny this marshmallow-world, with all of its mushy truth--its own self-absorbed bitterness that falls like a single tear, with majesty as ephemeral as a swan floating on its own reflection?!?!?!??!???
answer me! for the truth, i must know! in all of its unknowable-glory! so i can die--a happy girl!* will i not know? can i know? or will these truths forever escape me like a mink hiding in a foxhole. had we only the patience, an understanding, could we know such things--but patience does not exist. there exists nothing but single moments that live and die. and tuesday* is my english* final.* after tuesday* will be the end of the world. but until then i exist to study. after tuesday* [or thursday?] will be the end of the world! make peace with God. make peace with nature, for the truth will set everyone free!
good day!"

.....................................
* words may be substitued by necessary word of choice.

6. i got my contract in the mail. and i forgot to go to the bank.

7. i have no concept of reasonable goal setting.

8. i bought a dress for 10 dollars [!] and its red, but i have to sew a little corner of the seam. i wonder
if i can even do that. but its super cute. and i might even have to get another dress to wear to all
my social engagements in the next few weeks. i guess i can deal with that--except for the finding of
the dress part. gross.

9. gentleness of spirit is to be encouraged. as is much fun-havingness. hmmmmmm.
and i think the best kind of people are those people who go ahead and say what everyone else is
thinking already.

10. xoxo [i miss you already]


11. currently playing: scrubs --fits my mood perfectly at the moment. its happy, depressing, crazy
and good to dance to, all at once.


Posted 5/16/2005 4:03 AM