12.05 a.m.

yesterday, my roommate came home and i was asleep on the couch in my shorts and tshirt and highheels, which i was wearing to inspire me to do things and stuff. she said i was pitiful, and then she woke me up. i didnt even have a pillow, i dont think.
im o-so-ready to be home, which makes it difficult to explain what exactly i am doing here when i could be home.
well: there are the obvious reasons--finals will end thursday, and im not packed, except for one box i did last night. [hurrah.]
but really: 'there's some type of magic that happens... sweating over exams, laughing at embarrassing moments of dancing while the curtains are still open... a kind word, a tearful exchange... doing nothing together... owning the world.'
and i like this feeling of gathering everything from the semester in its own little bottle, and putting the lid on it and putting it in its spot on the shelf. but: i feel like im missing a few pieces that belong in the bottle, which is very tragic, but i dont know that i can fix it.
one of the things that i had to do was make a whole book that recapped everything i had learned in the class, or at least some of the things. if i had to write a book which recapped everything i have learned this [ridiculous, lovely, stupid] semester, it would be a loooong book. and it hasnt ceased to be weird just the semester ended.
and: i saw star wars at 12:05 opening night. and i was really excited, not because of star wars, per se [it was squished, and it needed new dialogue completely and the old ones were sexier,] but it was pretty much fun cause there were a lot of cool people there. it was like woodstock or something while we were waiting in line. well, maybe not that much, but it was still cool. but i didnt dress up. o well.
i might should go pack some more. and just in case anyone was wondering, i am running around in circles.
i dont want to fail.
[i need to let myself be loved.] and scotch tape can fix a lot of things. but it cant wake me up.

Currently Reading: A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius//Dave Eggers


Posted 5/17/2005 5:20 PM