{ once in a blue moon }

once in a blue moon is one of the things that i always say. and lo and behold, tonight is a blue moon, for real. here is an article about it. i read it (or at least skimmed it). apparently, it has not much to do with the color of the moon, and has something to do with misunderstandings in language. how appropriate. i was very interested to learn this stuff. although it was very cloudy tonight, ironically enough, and so i couldnt see it. and i was a little sad, because there is something intrinsically lovely about blue moons. another thing i say on a regular basis is: is the pope catholic? and varients thereof.

the thing that my grandpa always said was this:
i went to the river, and i couldnt get across
i paid five dollars for an old gray horse
i got to the river, and he couldnt swim,
so i knocked him on the head with a hickory limb.
whereupon we would probably also be knocked on the head, although not with a hickory limb, because we didnt have many of those. but with whatever was handy. like the newspaper. or the couch pillow. or...um...the flyswatter.

speaking of my grandpa, he passed away.
it was very sad, and very strange. but he was a good grandpa, and i know he loved the Lord a lot, so its okay. and my grandmother is wonderful about the whole thing. she kept saying (with the resoluteness of that generation) that it was just our turn, and we didnt want our turn at this, but everyone has to have one, and we can trust God. and we can. but i still cried. i have been less ashamed of tears lately. how important it is to share with each other! not just pizza, or jokes, or smalltalk, but everything. (and the second most important thing to share is stories. this is something else my grandmother was great about). the whole thing is about letting people come over with your house messy, because theirs is too, probably. at least a little bit, like in the closets. its about a willingness to be vulnerable, sometimes. not always, certainly. but its important. and hard. being real is important, and even just one real conversation can make such a big difference. really. ( i miss this.)

my grandparents have really bad timing in dying, though. (haha.) my dads mom was during all of the grandkids crazy week-before-finals (or somewhere right around there. really-super-plus busy anyway) and we all had to do a lot of shuffling to be able to be where we needed. and then my grandpa was in the middle of my sisters and cousins finals, and i missed my first big work event to be there (which ended up being okay, but i felt bad) and my cousin had to come from japan and it was dad's birthday (and we were praying jack wouldnt die then, and he didnt!). and no one ever has anything to wear for funerals, ive decided.

i am feeling slightly relieved that things still feels like summer, even though ive been working, and no vacation, really. almost a year ago, i was at the zoo. and that was lovely. and i was driving back through saint louis afterwards. that was a defining experience for me, in a least a couple of ways, and i missed things, but im not sure i would change them. and i wondered if the lions ever showed up. and how the anteater was doing.
also, i was relieved to learn tonight that there is, in fact, duck tape as well as duct tape. i always thought it should be duck, but everyone always told me duct. i like ducks better.
(my nursury was decorated with ducks. ironic, eh? death, marriages, birthdays, anniversarires, births--the whole deal, right here and now. somewhere anyway. this post is like a deluxe pizza, apparently. and i think i shall have a chocolate meringue pie instead of cake, or pizza for that matter. i love that stuff in a way which i do not, and will never, love deluxe pizza. i am a thin-crust,-lots-of-pepperoni-and-cheese girl myself.)
i did learn a great deal about funeral processions, though. it was one of my greatest fears in all my life though, because i was very near the front of the procession and i had to drive and i had my sisters, because my parents rode with my mamaw. and i had no earthly idea where on earth he was going to be buried, and i get lost in that town------so what if i lost the procession!?!?!?! i had like 30 people behind me too, so i was very worried about this. my sisters were just hoping that we would get to run a red light. and we did that too. and most happily--no one got lost! (just think of how you would never hear the end of that!) but it was pretty funny.
this is one of the things that i didnt know you could do before. and also, i dont think i knew that you should pull over if you see one, cause you should. and keep your lights on if youre in one, and keep up! and some walking guys took off their hats when they saw us.. it was very sweet, and respectful of them. this is where the south is nice. i wouldnt mind being like that.

also, i am beginning to understand, maybe, that this do unto others business does not always mean "if you dont want someone to punch you, dont punch them first." it can be much more proactive than that----whoa. if you want someone to be kind to you, be kind. if you want encouragement, encourage. if you want someone to give you their chocolate cookie, share yours first. and so on. thats harder, i think, because its so unlike what we think.

i heard an absolutely halirious story while i was in texas. someday, i will publish this one. it is often a great relief to be moderately funny sometimes.
and, while i was there, my cousin made me three awesome--and i mean awesome--cds, full of good music that i havent heard much of yet. but he didnt label anything at all, so i have no earthly idea what im listening to. ill blame it on the jetlag. he was in japan just a few days before. and you lose/gain practically a whole day, depending on which way youre going, and thats just weird. that is something that i just dont understand.
but i did learn some more about chickens this weekend.
i think when i grow up, i want to live in a house with a single or double digit house number: 15 tiffany court. 6 charles way. 10 maple street. i think that place will be very interesting and conducive to lovely things. as they already are, really. just like a blue moon.

yes, i am interested to see what will happen, dont you think?

Posted 5/31/2007 10:44 PM -