[{ conversations }]

I
me: so, do you guys actually have to walk on seperate sidewalks down there?
him #4: um, no.
me: so, you do talk to girls sometimes?
him: well, usually i study.
me: do you have to wear a tie all the time?
him: no, just in the morning and at dinner.
me: do you even have any jeans?
him: no, they're uncomfortable. i dont like them.
me: do you have curfew and lights out and bed checks?
him: well, yeah.
her#5: aw, do you wear jammies to night-night time?
him: actually, i sleep in the nude.

II
him #5: so, hows it going?
me: oh, pretty good. i'm lost and stuff. you know.
him: lost? where?
me: kalamazoo.
him: kalamazoo?
me: yes.
him: kalamazoo. kalamazoo, michigan?
me: yes, thats the one, rand.

III
me: "come on! lets go out on the town! live it up! have some fun!"
her#1: "its tuesday night. where are we going to go?"
me: "i already told you. now get ready!"
her: "mcdonalds?"
me: "yeah!"

IV
him#1: some people say "right person, right time"
him: but i think i'd probably just miss them and then be alone foerever.
me: is this scary?
me: im scared of not finding that one person, a little bit
him: yes, me too
him: im terrified of being alone
me: but which is worse: alone or not alone, but throwing up?
me: id have to say the throwing up

V
me: "GAH! there are just some things they dont teach you in college! i want a refund! i
mean, they didnt even teach me how to write a menu, or whether Ranch and Swiss
cheese are supposed to be capitalized all the time!"
her#3: "of course, Swiss Cheese is capitalized, its the name of a country."

VI
him: "right, so my grandma had this little chihuahua"
her#4: "oh what kind of dog was it?"
him: "well, this little chihuahua"
her: "was it a basset hound? a great dane? a poodle? a dalmation?"
him: "no, a little chihuahua"
her: "a mutt? a dachshund? a lab? a schnauzer?"
him: "no, a chihuahua. like the taco bell dog."
her: " was it a yorkshire terrier? golden retriever? german shepherd?"
him: "no. a chihuahua. c-h-i-h-u-a-h-u-a."
her: "was it a chihuahua?"
him: "how'd you know?"

VII
him#2: i need to find someone whose opinions i trust.
me: well, here i am.
him: no, its like a rule that men cant get opinions from women.
me: are you kidding?
him: no, gosh. of course you cant get opinions about important things from women. ask
your dad.
me: hey, dad. he wants to know whether men are supposed to get opinions from women.
daddy and mumma [who was also standing right there]: *laugh for like 5 minutes at boy.*
daddy, finally: this is what this poor, ignorant young man needs to know: women always
have opinions, and they will always give them.

VIII
him: so, what do you say? will you marry me or not?
her#6: well, i dont know. did you have braces?
him: well...yeah...[ smiles to show her that his smile is sexy thanks to said orthodontia]
her: i did too. that settles it. we cant get married.
him: what?! why not?!?!!?!
her: well, you arent very rich, are you?
him: no...but i have a job, and--
her: im poor too, and think about all the money we will save by not having to get our
childrens braces.

IX
me: what on earth is a quadrillion? will you show me?
him#3: do i have to write it totally out?
me: well, how else will can you show me? scientific notation doesnt even count.
...
me: what on earth are you writing out all those zeros for? havent you ever heard of scientific notation?
him: i dont know, just for kicks and giggles. or, maybe because someone told me i had to.

X
her#2: right, i started using abbreviations when i would text my last boyfriend
me: really? cause i still mostly use real words and correct punctuation when i text
her: no, it was mostly when we were fighting and i figured he wasnt worth the whole d---
word. man. boys are stupid. s---, man.
me: hopefully not all boys are completely stupid.
her: i dont have time for a boyfriend right now anyway. theres too much i want to do
right now. life is too f---ing short, you know? you just never know when youre
gonna go. life is just too d--- short.

XI
me: oh, no. im so scared of being buried alive now.
him#3: dont be scared. if i found out that you were buried alive, i would come and dig
you out.
me: really? aww. what would i do without you?
him: die? oh, but be sure and leave a sign so i know where youre buried. i dont want to
be doing any extra work. its too hot outside for that kind of thing.

Posted 7/31/2006 3:28 PM