[some notes:]

so suddenly this past weekend, i think i got cooler. not that im exceptionally cool or anything, [this weekend will probably prove that, geh.] cause i pretty much know better, and im totally alright with that. but i definitely got cooler this weekend. i nevereverever was able to roll up sleeping bags for my whole life. i mean, after slumber parties and such, when everyone else was rolling their sleeping bags and stuff, i just had to fold mine, and then let mumma or daddy roll it later. but all the other girls totally could roll theirs, and some of them could even do a good job. but this weekend, i was all over rolling the sleeping bags. i was awesome at it! and i totally even was able to put 3 of them back intto those stupid clingly plastic bag things that you can never get anything back into, you know those things i mean? i mean the ones where the zippers always break. yeah, i got those sleeping bags back into those things. it was amazing.
needless to say, i was queen of the sleepingbags this weekend, despite the fact that i did not sleep in one, and despite the fact that im not even sure i own one anymore. [does that seem like a problem to anyone else? i dont know, it just seems like one of those things that one ought to own, even though you dont use it that much. its one more of those things that you should just always have around, like the jar of mayo or grape jelly in the fridge. it really messes a person up when one goes to make a sandwhich and that stuff is gone. i mean, really, when is anyone ever really out of mayo? its insanely hard to be out of that stuff [like vaseline too.] and so, when you are, its weird.]

so also, i think i need to stop using transitional words. that would be good, apparently. no more "so alsos" and stuff. i just need to say it, dangit.
and also, if that wishy-washy stuff could stop too, that'd be great. yeah, there should be less of that.

isnt it crazy about what you can find out? i mean, theres stuff to know about nearly everything, i think and thats a whole lot of stuff. today, something was cancelled and i got an extra hour and so i was perfectly frivilous and i sat in the library with my roommate and for 20 minutes i skimmed a whole book about mary, queen of scots ["oh, the very name just thrills me to my fingertips!"] and i was just impressed again with all the things that i dont know in the world. and then, after that i was skimming book titles while i was looking for something to read, and there was this whole set of books about jacksonian democracy. think of that! who even cares about that? it rather gives me hope as a writer, because if someone could write 5 books about jeffersonian democracy and have them published and put into libraries, then surely i could bust something decent out.
also, if you write just one book, but it sucks a lot, does that make you a real author still?
its very crazy that there is 6000 or something [depending on what you think about such things] of experience that i dont quite know about.

there is an order to things:
first, pluck up & break down
next, destroy & overthrow
then, building & planting.

lots is going on, and thats good. im working on getting out of the "im soo busy" mindset, cause im pretty sure thats not productive. fortunately for me, my second toe is longer than my first toe, and while this fact made it somewhat difficult to dance en pointe, my athletic training friend told me that studies have shown that even though im running around like a chicken and stuff, i will still get everything done and make a difference in the world, or something or other. and thats because of my toes. so, um, yeah. thats good news, i guess.
and also, isnt it good news that we have ourselves? i mean, yesterday in class we were talking about everyone's need to not be bored. and this is very nifty because we are stuck with ourselves all the time, and that means that pretty much all the time we can learn things and laugh at ourselves and be annoyed and grow and change and have fun and do all kinds of things. its pretty handy, i think, because sometimes no one else is around. this is where its good to not mind talking to yourself, or singing without a radio and stuff. it makes it easier sometimes.

woman without her man would be miserable.
[this goes two ways. or maybe like four ways, if you go backwards too, i think. mmmm, punctuation]

arent cell phones the weirdest thing ever? i mean, who thought of carrying a phone around all the time so you can either 1) always be bothered because people always call you in the middle of everything or 2) be reminded all the time that no one calls you at all, ever, no matter what. its perplexing. i was just thinking of that. but anyway, isnt it funny how quickly we adapt to some things, and wonder how on earth people lived without stuff? well. they survived for a long time without a lot of stuff. --i lived for a long time without some stuff maybe i should give up technology [and stuff!] for a little while.

then it was fat tuesday [and i got real beads from new orleans, and thats almost the awesomest thing ever, but it would have been awesomer if i was there to get them in person] and ash wednesday. such a lovely time in the year--so rich and beautiful and symbolic. why dont we live like that?

dear glen-face, i will always love you for introducing me to weezer. spring is the time for such things. xo.
things are opportunities.
"everything to God in prayer." and also, remember my toes [wiggle,wiggle!].
on the way home i will get krispy kreme donuts. i will be happy.
"six weeks and the wide world is green again."
yes, zane, its exactly the turtles.

currently playing: the blue album [and stuck on that playlist is also buttercup, baby. ah, life is good.]

Posted 3/2/2006 11:13 PM