{ slightly haunted }

i love the bed at my grandparents house that we always sleep in: its rather wonderful in all the best ways. its creaks so nicely, but not when youre sleeping [at least i dont hear it, but that doesnt say too much.] and theres that nice spot where you just roll to, and its rather comfortable. its old, too, but not too old to have many ghosts. just a couple of haunt-y spots. [but i think whenever we get home, ill sleep on my couch in my own dear house. its funny how different places are so different from each other. east tennessee is terribly realistic, texas is day-dreamy. this makes it really weird when something realistic happens in texas, or something day-dreamy in tennessed. but home is [usually] a balanced mix, and school is generally very well balanced, and thats good for me mostly, i think. a good dose of realistic is necessary, and a good dose of daydreams are lovely, but i think that its probably better not to have too much of either, on a very regular basis. a nice mix of both is probably best to have all the time, although some things are not to be always.] i should walk outside more. i have a feeling that im missing lots of terribly beautiful and inspiring moments because im inside, not that inside isnt inspiring, you know. and yesterday we walked down the ghost road. ive been convinced rather all my life that that particular road has been haunted, and i still am. and i voted to walk down the other road, but no one would hear anything of it--it was down that road we were to go, and that was the end of that. goodness. well, reason and broad daylight reminded me soon enough that it wasnt especially haunted in daytime, but ooo im not going to walk there at night [!] i dont know why i think it isisis haunted, really, because im not necessarily sure i believe in ghosts, but this road just looks haunted. full of trees and such, and it doesnt go to any place that i know of. which is something, i think, because most roads seem to go somewhere, even if that somewhere is far away. this road just seems to go right on into nowhere. perhaps therein lies some of the hauntedness. of course, it is easier to believe in ghosts when one reads a lot of l.m. montgomery all at once, and ive been drowning myself in her writing all week. im sure im even writing a bit like her right now, even. egads. but she is rather wonderful. and ive been reading the emily books, after ive been meaning too for probably 10 years, at her suggesstion. very dis/encouraging for a writer too [emily was a writer, and she was good at it, and all of that], but rather wonderful [!] i actually laughed out loud four times, in three books. thats a good ratio. and look at this lovely thing:

"...when it became sadly evident that mr. wallace's calls at new moon had ceased, the reason was eventually discovered. [emily] had told mr. wallace that she could not marry him.
"why?" demanded aunt elizabeth in icy disapproval.
"his ears, aunt elizabeth, his ears," said emily flippantly. "i really couldnt risk having my children inherent ears like that."

i always knew that was a valid reason not to get married. not necessarily a good valid reason, but a valid one nevertheless. [!] oh, but girls, if you want to borrow them in j-term, [when theres lots of time to read, thank heavens,] feel free! they are lovely. also, if i ever get a dog, i mean to get one that i have to keep up with when we go walking, rather than one whom i have to drag along. i disapprove of that, it makes things rather more difficult. [plusalso: i like people who can keep up with me and whom i can keep up with, or be just a little behind and ahead of each other, and that way we can race to keep up with ourselves.] although if i ever get a dog, im sure i have lots of ideals [not licking me all over, and chewing things and such] about it that will not exactly come to pass just as i want them too. i think thats a point of something, i think. maybe i should get a dog. i do get things awfully stuck in my head sometimes. im finding more and more that i set things up in my head just how i want them and then i really am truly perplexed when they arent that way. mostly about the way things and people look, and the names of things, and how people are. o dear. i should probably break that habit, i feel rather sure. perhaps ill have to make resolutions this year. usually i just skip it cause i make rather a lot of resolutions all the time, but maybe some of them will work better if its on new years, like officially and all of that. new years is always a funny thing to think of, how on earth has it gotten around to it again, and what shall happen next and all of that. [but heres a 157 kisses for new years, loves. xxxxx, plus the rest of them] thank goodness i am not in charge, and im eversoglad that i know who is[!] because im probably a mess, i think. and i dont even know what to do about things, or with things, but possibilites are terribly dreadful and exciting things. [!]

Posted 12/30/2005 11:46 AM