{ processes }

both the waxing and waning moon shine at night:

: i keep having to toss/shove the hair out of my face. its being unruly tonight. and wearing the black ballerina shirt always makes me feel sexy. and i need some new mascara i think. my laundry is still mostly in the dryer. [im behind]. i had a well-balanced meal for dinner. im clapping my hands and rubbing my eyes like a little girl and bestowing kisses on cheeks and foreheads and blowing them liberally. go figure.
: im changing my life all around i think. or my life is changing itself all around. or--something. i miss what was, what could have been. but in a year i will be missing different things. sheesh--in 7 weeks i will be missing different things most likely. plusalso, im kindofsortof excited about change. its like clear koolaid--it could be vodka or water, you arent quite sure and you wrinkle your nose at it. but then surprise! its really yummy koolaid thats probably watermelon flavored or something else yummy and you smile at it and its super exciting. maybe.

: '...to us, surrounded by students chewing gum and making jokes about the locations of freckles. but then again: nothing can be preserved. its all on the way out, from the second it appears, and whatever you have always has one eye on the exit so screw it. as hideous and uncouth as it is, we have to give it all away. our bodies, our secrets, our money, everything we know: all must be given away, given away every day because to be human means:
1. to be good
2. to save nothing.
...war, mountain climbing, sex--what? our bodies love to run in the rain--i subconsciously put off returning videos just so i can run down the street, when its pouring before the store closes to feel urgency--beause this part of us craves purpose. give me something to do!'
- a heartbreaking work of staggering genius

: im in college. i chew gum. but im not sure i make freckle jokes. i have freckles. eh. in the summer i have more freckles.
1. good is only accomplished through him.
2. what will be saved is what is worth being saved. i verymuch want to keep whats worth keeping and get rid of all that is not.
letting go is a p r o c e s s [as is redemption] and there is no rush. but i have been given things to do [ ! ]. i must do them and i must be focused and balanced. and i absolutely must remember that i am not superwoman.

: in other news: i havent been to waffle house in 4 days. i think thats a record for this semester.
: cheers.

currently humming: she will be loved

Posted 3/2/2005 3:09 AM