:::among my ponderings while traipsing through the millions of insurance folders:::

so, if my mother hadnt read to me my whole life from that big enchanting poetry book with all of the charming poems--not to mention all the other stuff she read to me!--, and if in second grade they wouldnt have let me check out chapter books from the library, and if my teacher in 5th grade wasnt sooo great about reading good literature during after lunch reading, and if my high school literature teachers werent so cool [usually anyway] would i still be an english major or even like to read at all? is that inherent in my genetic makeup or was it "given" to me, for lack of a better word?
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when did the latins become italians? where did italian people come from?
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in 2nd-ish grade, when they made us do "dictionary drills" to make sure that we could generally find words, i could find words. i was great at alphabetizing. and i dont know what happened to me. both at my bookstore and today filing insurance papers i can not find "W" w has disappeared from my alphabet apparently. i can [usually--or sometimes--as the case may be] find the spots of the other letters, but not w. i dont understand. i dont have anything against w, really. theres no reason that i should continually lose it. but i do. why is that?
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can you believe it rained all day? the nerve of it--it ought to be snow so close to christmas
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i wonder if procrastinating is also intrinsic? christmas shopping is not near done.
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and i decided that i probably only cry at movies, books, whatever after i get to know it and it becomes friends with me. i wouldnt cry at the plight of a complete stranger. i would feel sorry and sympathetic, yes. moved to tears, no. with a dear friend, however, tears come far more easily. its the same with movies/books too. i dont cry the first time... why would i? i dont know these characters from adam. but after i watched the movie several times, after i know, understand, love these people--these friends--then the tears are able to come. [this is just a theory..who understands the whys and wherefores of tears anyway?]
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and why are there no endings in my head? and why did people from a long time ago have such noses?!

(12/22/2003 6:28 PM )