missinglike, pt. 2

there are some people that i miss that i was expecting to miss: my friends, my aquaintences, a few select professors and a couple of people i worked with. here are some people i was not expecting to miss, but i do: brandon and blake--the quiznos boys that i always saw every time. they knew what sandwhich i liked and made it so good, and they knew that i got a discount. they were charming, even if i was with other boys [of course, they were charming if i was with girls, thats no big surprise.] i miss john mark, my old boss who was wonderful and whenever i saw him after i quit working there, he would give me hug and call me "beautiful" [although, that might have been because he forgot my name, but i dont think so.] and ask me how things were. he would also beg me to come back and work for him. i miss the library lady, judy. she was so sweet, and when i read my poetry, she told me she liked it and asked for a copy. i miss that cook at waffle house, who always told us all about it, and everything else. i was not expecting this.
i wonder what happens to people. i wonder what will happen to them--if john mark will finally marry that girlfriend he's had forever, and if wendy from work will ever get pregnant and how whitney's twins are doing now [they were sick when i left.] i wonder if brandon and blake will get "real"-er jobs and be so rich when they are older, and if judy is going to get to keep her job after all, despite the city cutting funding. i met a girl at work on tuesday, and i worked with her for 6 hours. yesterday, she moved to atlanta because she got a waitressing job down there. eventually, though, she plans on returning to peoria, having lost 60 pounds and gained a southern accent. the funny thing is, when she comes back, i still will have only known her for 6 hours.

the other day, i went to knitting class. it was lovely. my mother and sisters go every week, and i decided to join them, because who knows why. theres this lady from church who taught herself to knit when she was pregnant with her first child and now shes like 80 or something and a-mazing at this stuff, so she has like 20 girls over at her house during the course of the week and she teaches them how to do it too. it is charming. i decided to make a blanket. ive been wanting to for a while, but i could never find a pattern for one that i liked. but i think ive got one now, and i think its easy enough which means that i might not even quit before i finish. thats always the trouble, you know. i start something, but then its too hard, or i mess up or i just stop doing it. but the goal is to finish this one. golly, since i started knitting, i might as well start accumulating cats and buy a cute house on a street for me and my cats [except for i dont even like cats. if im going to be the crazycool old maid down the streets, i guess ill have to have birds or something instead.]. and in the summer, i plan to sell lemonade, for yarn money. can i just say, too, that not a single store in peoria has the color of green yarn that i want for my blanket? its sad.
oh, and speaking of cats and knitting, it was getting very tiresome telling all the people that ask what im going to do with my life, because at this moment, i have no idea, of course, and everyone asks that [stupid] question, you know, for who knows why. its like they expect you to know or something, and thats just ridiculous. so a friend suggested that i just tell whoever asks that i plan on finding a really rich man to marry, and that may shut them up for a while. and that idea was looking better and better until i was at church on sunday and i was waiting to tell this girl something, but she was already talking to a lady, and right when i got there, the lady had just found out that she was single and was setting her up. i mean she had a list of like 4 men that she was trying to give this poor girl who didnt know what to say of course, because getting set up can be a rather awkward experience. so i decided that maybe telling people that i wanted to get married to a rich guy may not be such a great idea around here, cause usually you could just say no to the guy because hes not rich, and thats one of your qualifications, [except for only if you dont like him. if you do, then who even cares about money. same with movies, or last name, or music or really anything that works.] but most guys around here are rich because they work for caterpillar and that means rich. and also, i didnt even know that people actually set people up like that [!], so there went that idea.

mostly i think that if i dont have at least one decent, real conversation with a real person about once a week, then i go absolutely crazy. im good all week by myself or whatever, but man, after that i am an unhappy girl. unless i get talked to. i enjoy being talked to [by interesting people. the second question to ask after if the boy is rich or not is whether he is interesting.]

i have so much more to say, but i seem to have gotten out of the habit of writing, and i am tired of it. i need to get back into that habit, goodness, i have got to be more disciplined. [and the habit of answering phone calls and emails, and not putting on my makeup in the car on the way to work and eating how i should] the trouble is, i cant start small--its either completely and totally disciplined or not at all, so its not at all. i have trouble doing things only partially though, and i dont know how to fix that problem. but i will have to write again soon, because i have all these little tidbits running around in my head that need a home like: did you know that first cousins can get married in illinois, if they are over the age of 50 [?]. and also, one shouldnt do yoga on the dalai lamas mat because you just shouldnt. okay?

Posted: 6.12.06 1:37 a.m.