inventing invention

i had the best breakfast almost of my life the other week.
i wouldnt necessarily say its better than eggs and grits and buscuits and gravy, etc., (homemade or wafflehouse!) or better than a cinnamon roll and hashbrown from mcdonalds, or even french toast and breakfast potatoes at perkins at 11p.m., because those things are good (and some of my absolute favorites), and they have their place.
my breakfast consisted of:
-- a boiled egg (in one of those cool egg dishes.)
-- ham
-- fresh bread and butter
-- a banana
-- chocolate dip for the banana
-- hot chocolate and water

it was so good! ---a different kind of good than the others--a kind of good that was lingering and inspiring and that i want to imitate regularly. i think it was for three reasons:
1. it was fresh and simple and not complicated.
2. it has all necessary things that you love most, and is reasonably healthy: protein, carbs, fruit, chocolate.
3. it is reproduceable.
in fact, i am reproducing it right now. im multi-tasking! and eating a boiled egg (with the outside of the yolk turned grey, which is really the only way i like the yolk.) and a quarter of a gondola, half a banana and some truffle kisses. (so good.) and i am happy about this.

why dont we live like that --all the time?
{2.20.08}
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of course, that was 3 weeks ago, and the original even longer ago than that.
we dont live like that because it is hard to keep up, i think.
today for lunch, for example, i will probably eat peanut butter and jelly (the peanut butter will have omega-3 fatty acids artificially added, because i feel guilty not being healthy enough. i think the bread is smushed. also, i plan on having popcorn (and m&ms---individual sized bags are awesome.) because i've been wanting that. This is the time of year that i want popcorn constantly. unexplainably.
it is warm outside today. this is a change that i welcome. which is a rare enough event.
i think i should try to write on this everyday. i think that i will plan to do this at lunch. i have decided that it is more productive for me not to leave the building if i can help it. although, once its quite warm outside, i plan on walking down to the downtown courthouse square and listening to the provided (and often sketchy) lunch music. plus, its exercise that way. two birds with one stone, no?

even once it gets warmer i might even just want to sit outside and not do a single thing but look at the clouds. i dont do that enough.

nevermind. i just heard there was pizza downstairs for lunch, which i will probably eat instead of the pb&j on squishy bread. goodbye, omega-3s. and smushy bread. i have heard this about pizza: that even when its bad, its good. and also, that you generally cant have too much of it.
although, the pizza does throw off the popcorn plan.

i need to write on here more. i feel tooo smushed under everything, and it is hard to balance and i absolutely cannot live up to all of the expectations. the end. i will use this to remember what is beautiful in this town (if there is such a thing)and in this life (that is here, just hiding). ((( keep me guessing with these blessings in disguise, i suppose.)))
also, do the small bits of beauty outweigh everything else? its hard to say.

i was looking in my notebook just now to see if i had thought of any other gems that i had forgotten about. not really, but i found these two:
1. "Could love have ensued out of order and perfection? maybe. but probably not."
2. "cluelessness is the mother of invention."

these are true, i think. sometimes i surprise myself when the things i do manage to get down on paper are still _true_true later.

once, in first grade, i tried every conceivable way to spell "once." (ALSO---excellent movie. i finally saw it, and i fell in love with it.) ones, wonce~who knows what all i wrote. my teacher was standing over my shoulder and told me all my ways were wrong, helped me erase them, and let me *finally* figure out the best way (i just wrote the best way to spell it??!?!? i meant the *only* way) to spell it. and i have never forgotten how since.