{ things that do not make sense. }

when i drive, i am a radio-flipper (especially as of late, when i brought my cds inside to put some of the newer ones on my computer and they havent made it back out yet.) that means i hear a lot of kinds of music, and also some really dumb lyrics. take this example:
this is why im hot. this is why, this is why, this is why im hot. im hot cause im fly; you ain't cause you not. this is why, this is why, this is why im hot.
tell me how this was made into a song. seriously. oh wait. i know how: the guys a poet. he rhymes hot and not. what talent.
and heres one: take a look at my girlfriend, shes the only one i got. shes not much of a girlfriend, but i never seem to get a lot. i love it when she calls my phone, she even got her very own ringtone. if that ain't love, i dont know what love is. who wrote this? is he married? has he ever met a girl?
this doesnt even begin to think about songs like "fergielicious." and "my humps" (i cant believe i forgot that one before. i hate that song.) ew.

new goal now that i have a job is to get out of debt. this is requiring me to spend time looking at money stuff and planning and stuff. this is overwhelmingly boring. not that i was never bored before this, like, say, in math class, but one would think that boring would end after school ended. also, i had to go to this meeting at work to learn how to work the new telephone system. it was totally boring and so i completely didnt pay attention though most of it. so i still dont know how to work the phones. and whenever i want to do something, i have to pull out the little instruction sheet. however, i resent being made to sit through the meeting, because i would have had a much more productive day actually working and the end result would be exactly the same, except i would have gotten some work done. someone explain to me how the business world makes any sense.
[ let no debt remian outstanding except the continuing debt to love one another. ]

its a little hard to believe about all the hurting in the world. its hard to see that a senior creative writing major shot and killed 30+ people. thats almost like me. well, except its really nothing like me, but i was a senior creative writing major not too long ago.
its hard to believe that when i got to last monday's morning meeting, i heard about 3 people who had committed suicide over the weekend. it was very sad. there is a lot of pain in the world. and a lot of hopelessness. and its hard to know that some of our oldest friends are hurting right now.
and i just wrote an article (which, unfortunately is not online yet) (and: i was happy with this article. i was funny and touching, if i do say so myself.) but i was basically just talking about visiting my grandparents. the point is, its hard to see them hurting, and unable to do things and discouraged. its hard to see my father sick (he threw up tonight. fortunately, i wasnt home when it happened, but, being the good daughter i am, i brought him 7up, and am staying far away.)

also, i have a really hard time trying to think about stuff sometimes. for example: i believe that we should be able to have guns. but then im like wait. not every idiot on the street should be able to get a gun. but then i think that if there were stricter punishements for crime and prisions were not basically daycamps, then that would help. and then i think but! the state shouldnt be that involved. anyway, its the families who should be taking care of their kids. and its the familys fault for letting their kids be dumb. so we should take away welfare, so the children have to be gainfully employed to eat, then they wouldnt have time to be running amok. but then i think that we ought to have compassion on those in need, so the idea of welfare isnt that bad (although the execution still needs some work). and theres more, but i forget it.
so i dont know what i think.

heres a story. one of the last days i was a sub, this kid comes up to me and asks me if i go to church. i said yes, and i asked him if he did and he said sometimes. but then he said "want to know how i knew that?" and i did, and he knew i went to church because i was wearing pearl earrings.
go figure.

(of course, there are lots of things that dont make sense. this is the slightest handful.)

i wonder if people think about me the way i think about them, sometimes. is my lack of punctuation annoying? do they get annoyed when i use excess words, or words that dont sound like me? do they wonder why im wearing two coats of mascara while im wondering why the heck they have on hot pink lipstick. i wonder if people actually think about the same sorts of things as me.
being real is a hard task indeed. learning stuff, doing stuff well, being funny, finding clothes to wear, and being disciplined= harder. being holy, loving people and forgiveness are very close to almost impossible. maybe. (but grace is offered.)
its nice to have someone to talk to about stuff. (i mean really talk about real stuff.) i have no idea why people dont to that more. and brownies cover a multitude of overwhelmities.

currently playing: deathcab for cutie // plans
Posted 4/22/2007 10:23 PM