|| strung along :: out :: together ||

"isnt this the way it always ends up?
the deepest of nights, the ripest of moons,
the fragrance of magnolia and gardenia--
dueling sorceresses. and you are all i want."

my world is full of poetry of late: [not mine, of course.] but this and more. oooh, and more. poetry is such a lovely thing. osogood for the soul.
============================================================================
i think that the thing to think about when you dont know what else to worry cause there seems to be so much to worry about, is your posture. it takes a surprising amount of effort to worry about your posture, so it takes your mind off of everything else.
============================================================================
lately, ive been mild obsessed and interested in lacy things. osopretty. and i think im going to start wearing jeans with heels more often. ive often thought that i should wear more heels, and this seems to be a practical way to impliment that without having to dress up to accomplish it. what a stroke of fortune.and today i had icecream that is like 1/3 the calories and like 1/2 the fat or something and it doesnt even taste like that. and i am not even kidding--it tastes like the real deal. i had half cookie dough, and half moosetrack, with hot fudge [which of course, cancled outthe goodness of the icecream, but this is a risk im willing to take for my hotfudge] and it was sooooo wonderful. just what i needed. this is also extremely foutuneous, and a wonderful find.
============================================================================
also: ive taken to writing on only one side of the paper. i didnt use to do that.and i think i decided that the subject matter itself does not have to be interesting to make the subject interesting. only the teller has to be interesting. im reading a boxing book, and its beautifully written, and im enjoying it lots and lots, even though i dont really have a thing for boxing. also, im reading this other book about how the KJV Bible came into being and how its the most important book in the english language, with shakespeare coming second, of course, and its soo interesting. but we learned the same thing in a class, and i distinctly remember being terribly disinterested in what the textbook had to say about it. now the question is: why dont they get the interesting writers to write the textbooks? it would be rather clever, i think. i decided some things about my own writing as well: i think i write best and the best stuff emerges when i think im not really writing, but messing around. i have to get to a spot in my head where the best stuff is ready to come out, but it cant barge out, it has to slide out, so clumsily that i dont even notice, otherwise i get stagefright. and then after, i notice and the internal editor, which is my own harshest critic, kicks in. what i need to know is 1) how to get more harshest critics, 2) whether or not i should go to grad school, and 3) how to write when i need to write, instead of when my muse decides to show up unannounced. also: if it does show up, i flip out. and if it doesnt, i flip out too.
============================================================================
also: im afraid to give up what may possibly be bad, because i think i will never have better. when in all likelihood [too many vowels in this word.] the moment i give up bad--or not even bad: merely: not-as-good, i will get wonderful, but until then im stuck with not-as-good, or think im stuck with not-as-good, cause im scared, i guess, of wonderful. how stupid is that?! ooh, me of little faith.
============================================================================
ive been babysitting my sisters quite a bit--hence the confessions of a teenage drama queen--but anyway, we dance sometimes, and today they were showing me their dance to
"buffalo girls wont you come out tonight?
come out tonight, come out tonight?
buffalo girls wont you come out tonight
and dance by the light of the moon?"
which is such a pleasant song, and a funny little dance, which i can show you if you so desire, and the whole thing reminds me of its a wonderful life, which is almost a romantic a story as is king-henry-the-VIII, but for years and years i havent known what a buffalo girl is. what is a buffalo girl? i even googled it like youre supposed to, but no answers were readily available. i have no idea, but im curious.also: i still have no idea what a celluoid collar or an alabaster brow is, either. ===========================================================================
is the life not more than food,
and the body more than clothing?
sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
therefore: do not worry.

Posted 8/15/2005 12:48 PM