Politics

this week has been the democratic national convention. in honor of this momentous occasion, i have several observations and then a special memorial dedicated to the souls that [really and truly] desire the best for our country.

firstly: the observations
when i watch politics, i think of mr. fay. mr. fay was a high school teacher--the best one probably, or at any rate, the most entertaining. he saw it as his job to make us good conservatives and consequently, prepare us for life itself. he is the funniest teacher i have ever had and we spent many many classroom hours laughing till we cried because of his analogies: 'liberals-are-like-the-goonie-birds-in-the-south-pacific-and-this-is-why' was among the most memorable. that was the first time in a class where our entire class was laughing for a solid 47 minutes. the other 3 minutes were used by the introduction to the lecture and our breathing pauses in the middle.
i also think of my grandmother. apparently, she and i watch politcs in the same manner: we talk to the tv [or the radio. my mother and i generally listen to rush and sean hannedy in the afternoon if we're by a radio. those guys are an enjoyable pair to spend the afternoon with] this is a slightly embarrassing thing to discover about oneself. but im alright with it i think, because i dont talk to myself while watching anything else, which is a very important quality to posess if you watch movies. and i possess it. and i dont mind being like my grandma in this respect. i like my mamaw.
currently, these are my biggest fears in order of appearance
1. mice
2. having my legs broken off the wrong way. or my arms or back or
head for that matter
3. hitting a parked car
4. liberals taking over the world
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in regards to these pressing issues that face our nation today. a tribute.
<<>>

--"kerry, if NASA can embarrass you and play 'dirty tricks' on you, then you are in worse shape than previously supposed....' --regarding some pictures of john kerry at NASA that were slightly embarrassing.
-- "when a man doesnt know the difference between experimenting on an air force officer and a cadaver, i think its time to drop him from the team."
-- 2 really really [they were like 98] old people doing the macaraina [sp?] or some other such dance while some boy band or something played in the liberal's attempt to involve younger voters
--"So last night I heated up a can of chili, and mixed in some onions, chili powder and a little green chili from another can because hey, I live the high life. Canned chili is the reason our forefathers struggled for 200 years keeping our country free. Oh, and maybe voting, like that matters." – Fleener
-- "Overheard in the car on the way home last night:
Mackenzie's friend Robbie: So who do you think will win the election, Bush or Kerry?
MacKenzie: I don't know. Kerry, I hope.
Alex: Obviously Bush, because I don't think that many people will vote for Drew Carey. His show isn't even on anymore." - officeconfidential
---the sheer fact that women voted for Bill Clinton cause he was handsome?!?!?!?! have they kept their eyes closed their whole life and dont actually know gorgeous men when they see them?! edward norton anyone? [--we can start there] i mean really.
-- " on why you should be sure your microphone is off: i have no scruples. what is good, we take advantage of. what is bad, we hide." ~Brazilian finance minister Rubens Ricupero
------" with kerry, no adult who works full time will be under the poverty level."
------ "hope is on the way"
---"the bottom line is that there have been a lot of nuts elected to the United States Senate."
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this is just other stuff i heard. or read. this is extra just for your personal enjoyment.

---" im in school to be a pharmacist. do you know how hard that is? and we have to take this huge test. and im so worried that im not going to pass it and i wont be able to be a pharmacist and its their fault, they dont even teach us this stuff in class." "o, im sorry about that. what do you do in class then?" "o i dont know" "what? dont you have to go to class to be a pharmacist?" "yeah, you do." "then why dont you know what they talk about?" "i dont go to class. ever." "why not?" ".....well.... on principle." comforting, eh?
--- Jewel says: "clean water is one of the leading causes of death in the world."
---- "what that h***?!" now i realize that this is not funny, at all really. but it was funny this time because this guy in my class who is the size that tyson was when he was 6 years old was trying so hard to impress this 240 lb. punk guy and me, i guess, because females like that sort of thing, apparently, for there was no other reason to try to use such language. i had to laugh at his complete inability to say that phrase with any amount of believeability.
---"Osama bin Laden would never understand the joys of Hanukkah."
---- "how do the elk know that they are supposed to cross at the elk crossing?"

there you have it. "it answers all the questions, finally, but not really, but kind of."

Posted 7/28/2004 7:33 PM