[ on getting married }

p.s. i am so blessed. soooooo blessed! and happy! and overwhelmed! i have almost lost my head. but in the best possible way. im getting married so soon and i cant believe it and i should so be asleep right now. alas.

p.s.s. this is for jed, my almost-husband, and my favorite boy forevermore.



i am sure i have witnessed many minor miracles in my time (as if any miracles are minor). God provided so wonderfully as we moved to Peoria, His grace was so evident when we found out daddy had cancer, and I can see many ways in which He has kept me and given me grace which I do not deserve--not the least of which in making me His child through Christ's sufficient work on the cross.
but, if you were to ask me if i have ever witnessed any miracles personally, i would first mention my third-senior semester in college. i was in Nashville for a journalism conference and i found myself flipping out in general from, as i recall, pre-graduation (aka i-have-no-idea-what-i'm-doing-with-my-life!) and from life in general. as i was walking around a corner downtown there, in the middle of downtown Nashville and country music and motorcycles and homeless people and business people and crazy buildings and traffic, i found:
. . . . . a camel.
. . . . . in downtown Nashville.
. . . . . and he had a ring of flowers around his neck.
. . . . . and he had a name: bo the camel.
there were a bunch of priests and page boys were running around in magenta instead of white, and this was all happening in front of this absolutely beautiful episcopalian? [sp?] church, and the animals were going to church: it was the feast of st. francis, so they were there for a blessing. and a whole church service. and that makes sense, i suppose. i always heard that you should never turn down prayers or blessings, where ever you can get them. kindof like hugs or something. but once in a while, you just have to turn down hugs, if its sketchy enough.
i cant explain why this was a terribly important event for me. but it was. it really changed my whole weekend.
perhaps its something like this: the camel on the sidewalk was completely unexpected, and the last thing i ever thought i would see in the middle of Nashville. it was ridiculous and odd and strange. but at the very same time, there was something very right, and sensible and _wonderful_ about it--of _course_ the camel would be going downtown to church! it was the feast of St. Francis after all.

the same is true of the giraffe. the giraffe, according to the article we read together back in the day, is an odd animal--it doesn't fit into the categories they had set up previously for animals to fit in. It isn't like any of the other ones. but it makes us pause, doesn't it?
the article we read asserted that the giraffe reminds us of playfulness & curiosity, beauty & personality. In these things, we see evidences and glimpses of God. Without the grace of God (both general & specific), all the best things in life would cease to exist--we wouldn't be able to take pleasure in a perfect sunset, a great meal shared with our dearest family & friends, or even the smell of freshly mowed grass, the lights at Christmas or {insert favorite thing here}. The giraffe is just one more reminder to add to those echoed throughout all of everywhere--there is a great Savior, and his love is marvelous, rich and free.

It is a small wonder, i think, that anyone ever gets manages to get married. everyone is so quirky and strange, not to mention self-centered, sinful, and not at all prone to forgiveness, kindness, respect or anything else that makes up true love (in any form). for anyone to be able to love is an extremely remarkable occurance, and we know that its only possible because God first loved us. As we love each other (in a marriage relationship or otherwise), we are also able to get a clearer picture of God and his lovingcare for us, and our right response of our submission to him and reverence for him.

[ for the ENGINEERS:
if A=giraffes, and B=God and C=marriage, then A=B, and B=C, then A=C. right? ]

I suppose that love is like Bo the camel & the giraffes (who don't have names. but if one was to name a giraffe, what would it be? George?) I was certainly surprised to learn that i was, quite possibly, in love and wanted to get married--and even more surprised to learn that my thoughts on the subject actually coincided with someone else's thoughts about me--and it was the same person! (you know how hard that is to do? usually you decide you want to marry someone right about the time they decide they are madly in love with someone _else_).
(imagine my bigger surprise, and subsequent freak out when i found out what the technical name for the giraffe is: giraffia camelopardis. possibly my two most profound miracles are already connected, by some accident of science, or whatnot. i know, right? its almost like it was meant to be, and this scientific, hard-to-pronounce name was the sign. except we don't believe in signs.

So, going to the zoo and seeing the giraffes (and camels, although, sad to say, they do not come with flower chains around their necks in the wild), will always remind us of these great mysteries. And sitting on our ghetto porch, learning how to cook together (right, we have no idea how), taking walks, reading & studying together, having a family, and sharing all these moments with each other, and everyone else we love best, and so on and so forth from now and till forevermore (relatively speaking)--we will have all of these, Lord-willing. And we will have love, "tru wuv," as the impressive clergyman in princess bride says. All of these will be our miracles. And all of these things will remain, in some form or fashion, and the greatest of these is always love.

[on being engaged.]

well, hello.
its been too long since i have last talked to you all, and perhaps too long until i have time to do so again. nothing seems to wait around for me to have time to catch up with it. i shall try to

I. first things first
i am getting married (!). i have suspected such for a little while now, at least since two february-s (ies?) ago, and i have suspected to whom since about this march; and still i was surprised. funny how that works.

II. the bling
and i am surprised at the ring, too. its nothing like i would have probably picked out for myself, but i really love it even though ((like some other things, come to think of it) (--the boy did good. it even fit.)) i gave him only two pieces of advice on the matter, a long time ago: 1) it had better be gold and 2) i didnt want it to be so high or whatever that it caught on everything. he accomplished those two things, and then some. plus! it sparkles so much. yay.
i was talking to an eight-year-old and a six-year-old earlier today, and they were asking me why one gets the pretty ring when you get engaged, and the uglier one when you get married, because isnt getting married more important? no one who was around really had much of an answer. i dont really know myself, but i suppose its a valid question.
picking out the wedding band was much harder. i think i have found one that i like, and jed likes though, but its so hard to pick things that youre going to have to live with for the rest of your life! i am always second-guessing myself.

III. the story
here is a link to the engagement story and pictures, just in case you missed it on facebook, etc. jed seems to have a lingering wish it would have turned out a smidgin differently, but i think it was perfect, so dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

IV. what happened next.
we were so happy afterward. and i dont know when i have ever smiled so much to date. even the next day, when i was telling the story 34250678 times, i was so happy, and even jed was happy. but then it rather quickly lost its appeal, for the simple reason that wedding planning is no fun. it should be, i know. and it shouldnt be complicated, i also know, especially because i have known about what i have wanted since about 2 years ago when i started working at wedding banquets as a server, and then since now i plan a major banquet for a living. but its much harder when you're 1) spending your own money and 2) there are people you actually care about involved. that makes everything harder. and its not like i want something with icescuptures and doves and glass slippers. i just want something happy and easy and great. you would think that would be easier to come by, but alas. its not in the cards for us. (eventually, it might get there, but not anytime soon.) its hard, and i really hate making people unhappy. i did not expect this,
just as i have not expected most things that have happened in the past year or so.

V. The dress
i fell in love with a dress on the first day i went major dress shopping. (the times i went before hand, the people i talked to were just so ignorant. i knew more about wedding dresses than some of them. how is that possible?) Anyway, i could zip up this dress, but not breathe in it. no good. and i couldnt order it, because it takes a million years to get a wedding dress, apparently. so i searched at every other place possible and there was nothing. so i went back to the first place to mourn my loss, and see if there was anything i missed. 20 minutes before they closed they asked if they had shown me the discontinued dresses (they hadnt.) i found one super cheap that was perfect and bought it on the spot. hurray.

VI. the guestlist.
you see, we had some problems. we know EVERYBODY. and everybody we dont know, jed is related to. we couldnt not invite mostly everyone (we spent much time trying), sowe gave up and found the best possible way to invite everyone. because we couldnt not invite them. (how is it that so many people like us? thats a little ridiculous. wonderful, (it is admittedly a very good problem, and we are blessed, but still. its ridiculous.) and: they're mostly all coming. you may come, also, if you want.

it was the most traumatic thing EVER to find places for this whole thing to take place. i tell you what.


VII. the plan:
Saturday morning wedding & brunch reception. we like brunch, but it is terribly ironic because i am quite far from a morning person. we'll see how this goes. they keep telling me that i wont have any trouble waking up (in fact, ill have trouble sleeping for once) but i remain unconvinced.

the pictures will be after the whole thing. the family will have to suck it up and stick around if they want pictures. well, i suppose nonfamily could stick around too, if they want pictures.

hopefully this wedding will be a conglomeration of the things that we like best about weddings, and we'll leave out mostly everything we dislike. for an exhaustive list, email, or perhaps jed and i will write a few posts together on the subject, as this summer we have been practically professional wedding attenders, and jed has the usher thing down pat.

we will also have balloons. and windows, and cupcakes and the most delicious chocolates.


VII. the cake!
jed and i have a little cake for us to eat, and its so cute. more importantly, its the most delicious white cake/buttercream frosting with APRICOT filling. so, so delicious. i dont even like apricots that much, (only the thought of them). we will have white/apricot cupcakes and chocolate with cream in the middle ones for everyone, and they will all have a cherry on top. the lady at the cake store asked me what was up with the cherry, which i think is a silly question, because all the best, most perfect-looking cupcakes have a cherry on top. sheesh.


VIII. a non-wedding related moment

from summer:
apparently life is not all bad, especially in summertime. for example, i have recently discovered something that almost makes me want to stay in the country for a 100 more summers: fireflies!
i used to think that fireflies were these elusive little bugs, just 2 or 5 of them by your flowerbeds around the house in the evening, or by the tree, and they were a little teensy bit hard to catch. because there just werent very many and all that. well, this is not the case in the country--whole fields are aglow with them, and it is truly a beautifully breathtaking sight.
work: bleh. bleh,bleh.
everything: i dont feel like i have enough time for all of this! i want to enjoy this, and sink it all in, but goodness. ive been running around like a chicken.
and this is all too hard.
name: i will miss my old name very much. i think it will be very hard to stop being julie ----- and change all around to julie _____. i am much more like a ------- than i am a _____. but i have recieved reassurances that the new name is a good name, and it sounds all right and all of that, so perhaps, in time, it will be alright. but awfully weird at first. i like my name, and i have always thought that my parents did such a nice job of naming me.
hopefully: after the wedding, we can get everything nice and organized (i havent started going through the gifts and things at all (trying to get the last 12 thank you notes from showers done first, so i can make sure i have everything accounted for!), and we can eat healthier for once, and have time to read some. also, i would like to be writing more than i have had a chance to. i found an old poem when i was cleaning out stuff, and i read it again: it wasnt half bad, surprisingly. (maybe it was, but i still liked it.) and just having time to hang out together. we have been soooo busy!

IX.
still, i am so glad for everything:
church, house, job (kindof). sleeping with open windows again, and peach pie, and so on and so forth.
so many people. and especially my family.
and im glad i get to marry jed.
even if it is weird to think about.
the end, (just for tonight.)